I have a confession to make. I caved. I ate a pudding. I know, I know. I can hardly bear it myself. Too early in the IQS programme for that sort of nonsense, and so near the finish line. But guilt-aside, (which I’m trying not to allow into my psyche. It only makes my sugar cravings stronger.) I was really quite shocked by what happened.
It was a chocolate fondant. Drizzled in salted caramel. It dissolved in my mouth perfectly. At that moment, after my first mouthful, I nearly died and went to heaven. I didn’t get an all-consuming craving to pile into the rest of it. Nope. I could eat it slowly if I wanted to. Hell, I could even leave half of it.
But then… A slow, vice-like pain crawled around my skull and left me utterly winded. I could barely stand up. I thought I was having a stroke! The post-sugar symptoms left me reeling for two days. I had residual head pains for more than thirty-six hours after. I kid you not.
A while ago, I had tried a Fools and Queens pudding. Lime jelly and coconut. Sugar-free. “Guilt-free indulgence,” is their strap-line. I did indeed feel indulged but I had not one craving afterwards. No head pain. No guilt. The taste was sensational. Just the right amount of flavour and sharpness from the lime. Offset by the milky coconut. My mouth is watering as I type this. The difference to me between the Fools and Queens pudding, and the sugar-laden fondant, was astonishing. I’m now too petrified to stuff a load of sugar into mouth. Which can’t be a bad thing.
Last week of the IQS. It’s been utterly brutal at times. But there’s been more of a lesson learnt than I could ever have imagined and surprisingly, it’s been about my own emotions. I went into this thinking I’d just stop eating sugar for a bit, lose some weight, have more energy, and then I’d go back to normal. Instead, I had to delve into my own self and think about my addiction and response to sugar. In last week’s blog, I wrote about mindfulness, and thinking more about what triggers my cravings. I never, ever would have given this a second thought, had I not done the IQS programme.
The support from the IQS mentors was phenomenal. Responses were speedy: they were kind, firm, fair and encouraging. The recipes were easy, quick and delicious.
I could change the ingredients slightly to suit me. I found some of the food included made me crave sugar and perhaps the weight didn’t drop off if I had cut those foods out: the flour, cheese and macaroni but that was a great lesson learnt. At that point, my body was in perfect homeostasis to be able to respond.
If nothing else, I’ve been able to think about how my sugar-addiction seeps into all aspects of my life. How it distracts me, tears me away from the good things in life, and robs me of the pleasure of good, honest food. It taught me that I need to respond to my emotions from the inside. That’s worth a million pounds, so thank you, IQS. And thank you, Fools and Queens for having me on your blog. Now, where’s the lime jelly and coconut? I’ll be having some of those, please.