I was once caught drinking at school. It wasn’t normal drinking. I was absolutely, totally blind catatonic. I’d slugged back half a bottle of vodka and hadn’t eaten that day.
The last thing I remember after downing the straight booze in a mug, was trying to pinch one of my teachers on the bottom. God help me.
The lovely sixth-former who was looking after me whilst I was nearly unconscious – let’s call her Kate – had the foresight to tell my housemistress that I had ‘food poisoning.’
“What did she eat?” asked my housemistress. Kate looked around the room and the only item she could see, was an old Pot Noodle container.
“Those,” she replied, pointing at the green plastic cup.
Mercifully, no more questions were asked, given that an episode like that at my school was cause for suspension.
Something similar happened to me last week. Week four of the IQS programme! What a joy. Until I decided to be a bit spontaneous.
I was out for supper with some friends, having ordered a meat and parsnip dish. How good I’m being, I thought. Then my friends ordered a lovely looking bottle of wine.
“Hmmm.” I thought. As far as I remembered, wine is allowed on the IQS programme. “I’ll have a glass of that.”
Oh boy, was that a mistake. After half a glass, I was feeling so ill I had to leave the restaurant, my part of the bill unpaid. My friends were what’s apping me. “Are you ok?”
I couldn’t even reply. I ordered an Uber and sat there, inhaling the smoggy London air, in an effort not to cause a lot of damage to the back of the car.
I arrived home and wondered if I had just had food poisoning. But no – it was the wine, I was sure of it. My body had reached such a great state of equilibrium with all the healthy, clean eating, that it just could not handle anything that wasn’t unprocessed goodness.
Any of my friends will tell you that I don’t drink all that often anymore but when I do, it’s not unknown for me to drink all the fizz dry, so this came as a bit of a shock.
I felt ill all of the next day. It wasn’t a hangover, as such. Just a feeling that I had undone all the good work I’d done so far. And then of course came the guilt. I’ve had to get over that now, in order to get back onto feeling ok again. Of course, I’ve noticed that my sugar-eating comes hand-in-hand with my emotional state, so I just had to stop beating myself up about it, accept that it wasn’t great and move forward. Monday, a new week. I’m on it.
Week Four: Some emotional ups and downs after I was derailed but generally an alright week. I found the novelty of no sugar had slightly worn off and I’m still waiting for the huge energy lift people talk about. I’m sure it is just around the corner. That’s what I keep telling myself. I’m also drinking cup after cup of licorice tea, which is really keeping me going. I just got an email from the IQS programme, announcing that we’d just passed the half-way mark. So, a huge incentive, and am hoping that once I’ve finished, I won’t celebrate by going on a massive, massive sugar binge. As for my weight, my scales have broken, so I’m going to have to get some more before I can see if there’s been any progress on that side of things. My jeans tell me no, but we’ll have to wait and see. Until next week, folks.